Casinos

THE TUSCANY
The Tuscany is a small casino on Flamingo just west of Paradise.  They have cheap table minimums with $3 blackjack and $2 roulette.  However they have some weird rules on the $3 bj.  For instance blackjack normally only pays even money unless both cards are diamonds in which case it pays 2 to 1.  Also there are no pushes when you get blackjack.  You're allowed to double down at any time and if you take 6 cards without busting you automatically win.  They also have a video roulette machine that can be set at units from a penny to a quarter.  Although I'm pretty sure that machine is rigged.
Like all casinos drinks are free when you're playing and the cocktail waitresses are smoking.  There's this one named Roxy that will have a man panting like a dog.  Unfortunately she's married.  There's also this short Latina named Diana with an amazing rack but she's kind of unfriendly.  You have better odds at roulette then you do of getting Diana of having any kind of conversation with you.  Then there's this short blonde who's really hot but gets on my nerves because the one time I ordered a drink from her she forgot about my order and she knows I don't like her.  Whenever she walks by me she always yells out cocktails in a sarcastic way because I never ordered from her again after she forgot my drink. 
The restaurant has some really good deals, especially after midnight.  They have one special where you can get a half pound angus chesseburger with fries for $5 or steak and eggs for $4.50.  The steak and eggs comes with hashbrowns and toast.  Those are actually the only two dishes I've ever had their but I can tell you they are both excellent.  However a small glass of oj will an additional $2.50 and it is VERY small and VERY watered down and soda's are like $2.  They do acutally allow you to bring drinks in from the casino floor.  What I like to do is play for a few minutes on a cheap machine right before I'm about to eat, unitl I get a drink from one of the cocktail waitresses.
UPDATE 8-15
A couple weeks ago I tried cashing my check at the Tuscany.  The girl at the cage was nicer then the ones at Longhorn and Ellis Island.  Of course that's not saying much, and she was also dumber.  I ask her what their promotion is for cashing paychecks there.  She responds by asking "you mean what do you get?".  ???????  I'm like "Yes!"  What the hell else could I mean?  The promotion seemed pretty good.  You $5 in slot freeplay, a $5 match play for the pit, a raffle ticket for a monthly drawing, and two drink coupons for the bar.  I asked how long the freeplay and matchplay were good for.  They told me the freeplay was good for 24 hours and the matchplay was good for a month. 
Well I had to get to work so I decided I would come back later to use them.  When I do the bj table is full and my freeplay isn't working.  I take my freeplay card back to the cage and they almost don't give me a new one but finally do after checking their records.  I use it and up cashing out with a whole dollar.  I decide to come back to use the matchplay since the tables are all full. 
I go back last Thursday at 3am and the fucking pitt boss won't let me use it because he says it's only good for 24 hours.  I told him the cage told me it was good for a month but the asshold refuses to let me use it.  So I storm out.  I was going to get something to eat at the diner but I'm so mad I decide to go to Jack in the Box instead.


SAM'S TOWN
I played my first live poker tournament here on the fourth of July.  The total entry fee is $23 but I was a little surprised that we started out with only $500 in chips and the blinds started at $20 and $10.  According to http://www.allvegaspoker.com/tournaments.php you start out with $2000 with blinds starting at $10 and $5.  With the lower chip start and bigger blind amount it makes it pretty difficult to work an effective strategy.  Even with the first level being limit.
I was able to last an hour and 45 minutes.  I didn't come close to making it to the money.  I did last long enough to be moved to a second table but I think I was the first one out at that table. 
I've been to their breakfast buffet twice which I think now is like 6 bucks.  I saw this buffet featured on Rachel Ray's show $40 a day where I believe it was only 5 bucks.  All I can say is they must of paid her a ton of money to give them a positive review because it is pretty awful.  Both times the food was mostly cold and not very tasty.  The selection is also pretty paltry with almost no fruit to choose from.  

LONGHORN CASINO
I've been to Longhorn a few times.  They have $2 blackjack which is cool but there's this one dealer their that is a real jerk.  I forget his name but he weighs about 500 lbs.  The guy is so angry and rude.  The first time I was there when he dealt he came in and one of the other guys at the table said he (jabba the hut) was going to take care of us and jabba says "no I'm not".  Another time after playing for about 3 hours I asked if I could get a meal comp and he laughed and sarcastically said "No!  For $2 blackjack?  That was a good one though."  The last time I played blackjack their on the first hand he sarcastically showed me the cards again and commented that he probably went too fast for me to count.  Most of the other dealers their are pretty cool though.  I suppose if I were 300 lbs over weight I would be pretty grumpy too.
I had another bad experience there yesterday when I tried to get their check cashing bonus.  However the check I had was for $99.78 and the girl at the cage the check had to be at least $100 to get a $5 free play credit.  I asked if they could just give me that for my check and she wouldn't do it because it was 22 fucking cents short!  Funny thing is I read on the internet that they gave bonuses for checks over $50 so i guess they raised it recently.  Good thing for you guys that you have me and my blog ;p

JOKER'S WILD
A couple weeks ago I went to Joker's Wild on Boulder HWY off Warm Springs.  I see a sign outside that says 2 wings for 50 cents and 50 cent beers.  I had only played their once before but I played at one of their sister casinos several times.  When I go in I go to the pit to see if I how much comps I have from my playing points.  Well they send me to the cage who sends me back to the pit.  I guess the cage can only tell you points you earn from slot play.  So I go back to the pit and the dealer gets this one chick working in the pit who tells me she's not allowed to tell me how many points I've earned.  I'm like what??????????  Finally another guy comes over and takes my card and tells me he can give me 5 bucks because I haven't played their since March.  I tell him I've played at the El Dorado since then.  He says it should be in his computer but it isn't.  The dealer tells me that the woman who told me she couldn't tell me how many points I had was in training.
So anyway I take the comp to the snack bar and order 6 wings and chili cheese fries.  The total was just under 5 bucks.  I tried ordering a 50 cent beer but the guy said he couldn't ring it up their even though he was the bartender and the snack bar was connected to the bar.  So basically I can't use the comp for the beer and the food.
The wings were buffalo style.  They were just normal breaded wings but every two came with a cup of ranch.  They weren't that good, seemed like they had been sitting around for a while but not bad for 25 cents each.
The fries were decent and a very generous portion.  Truth be told I couldn't even finish all the food I got for less then 5 bucks.  I think I left with 2 wings and about 40% of my fries.  The beer came in a very small plastic cup but over all it was a pretty good deal for the money.
I went to El Dorado's website and alerted them about my points not showing up at Joker's Wild but they never got back to me.